Our Beauty is not Our Beast

A Nation begins with its women and maintains with its men. This blog is for Black women who believe that their natural textured hair is unattractive. It is also directed to women who are tired of being slaves to their relaxed lifestyle and want their beauty to be authentic and original.


*** Heads Up *** This blog, nor its author, intends to downgrade any male or female of color or derivative of any existing ethnic background and/or culture with the words and/or illustrations of this published piece of work. If you are offended by anything within this post, we highly apologize, maybe you should read it again, with your voice in italics, and a smile on your face? The author only intends to uplift, educate, and advocate the natural beauty of his brothers and sisters of color, with means to influence us to appreciate and value our authentic identity. The authors words are written with love and read with affection. *** Heads Down ***

Black hair. Natural Black hair. It is Ours and it is Us.

FistpumpAs a Black man, I would love to see the day that all of my Black Sisters, despite their shade and ancestry, stop applying relaxers and purchasing weaves for their hair. Regardless if you’re a Sister who’s nearly the complexion of a Colgate smile or a Sister who resembles the color of this font, I hope that that you, and Black people as a whole, begin to appreciate nature and become more health conscious physically, mentally, and spiritually. I am not saying that my Sisters are unattractive with relaxers and weaves; in fact every woman that I have dated in the past wore relaxers. Prior to a bit of recent self-education, I was ignorant to what natural hair was for the Black person. I honestly never cared; the information was never directly exposed to me. However, like most guys, I knew that I didn’t like weaves, and I never will. However, the tables have turned on my opinion of relaxers after a series of recent events this past year.

Black is not a color of skin, but a color within. A culture of people whose traditions and principles derive from the descendants of African slaves during the Atlantic Slave Trade between Africa and North America.

I will not go into too much detail about the experiences that turned me into an advocate of natural Black hair. However, I am reminded of a time where a potentially great friend carried me, cut me off, because I complimented her outstanding courage and breath-taking natural beauty in photograph she once took of herself, possibly a few weeks or so after her “Big Chop.” How did I deserved to get carried after providing a Sister with such loving praise and support? It beats the hell out of me! It happened once I took notice that the hair I saw on her head, presently, was a long, curly, and well maintained weave; quite the opposite length and texture of hair that was in the BigChopimage of her that I recently congratulated. So I asked her a question out of curiosity, “What happened?” In return she bombed me out, pissed in her panties, and vanished. Another Sister told me that going natural was not “in” and that she would never be caught wearing braids or rocking the natural “herbal tea” look. So that kind of blew, irritated, me. I thought to myself, what the hell is a “herbal tea” look? Also, if natural hair isn’t “in” why is the whole world natural except for our Sisters? Our own Brothers are even natural. Speaking of Brothers, I will not dwell about the number of times Brothers with locks, fros, cornrows, braids, and twists have told me that they are not attracted to Black women who wear their hair natural, because natural hair to them is unattractive. But if they weren’t so ignorant, they would realize that what they are calling unattractive is the exact same natural hair that they have on their heads as well. Finally, I will not go into detail about the excuses I have heard from Sisters that wear relaxers, who wish to go natural but won’t, due to laziness, ignorance, insecurity, finances, professionalism, and even because many claim that they just do not have the face for natural hair; the face for their authentic image.

There are so many of our Sisters importing security, self-esteem, and attractiveness from overseas. Stop anti-african, anglosaxing, and relaxing your hair. Let your hair speak and your roots stand up. A relaxer is just another form of Ritalin.

Black hair, in its natural texture, has more life than nature during spring, possesses more character than any winner of an Oscar award, and embodies more loyalty and discipline than any Kung-Fu Shaolin Monk. Black hair is a delicacy that must be valued and tasted with time and attention. Blk019It is not a plant that can be watered once a month and left abandoned somewhere by a window to sit and dry. It is not some fast food joint or a TV dinner; it takes an experienced Chef to be able to cook in our “kitchen.” And also it is not a quickie, we most love it, please it, and take the time to learn what makes it respond the way that we want it to. When we chemically alter our hair texture we destroy its natural beauty, character, and abilities. Due to a lack of education, love, discipline, or time to grow and manage our true selves, we chose to relax. We simmer our hair down and shut it up so that it will listen and behave with the least amount of our effort as possible. Our hair is similar to the young children in school that have more energy than their peers in class. They have so much energy that it is too distracting and frustrating for the teachers to operate; so frustrating that the teachers lose their creativity, patience, and the ability to teach these children. And because these teachers do not take the time to learn these kind of children, they recommend that they visit a doctor for medical treatment. The innocent children are placed on medication so that they can relax and be easier to manage like the other children. We are these teachers, and these poor children are our hair. A relaxer is nothing but another form of Ritalin. A short term solution to long term problem. A way for a rose to blend in with a yard filled with dandelions.

Beauty is an export not an import. We must accept and appreciate our authentic selves so that eye-sight is irrelevant. That way our hearts may do the judging.

I find my Sisters very attractive, and very sexy, despite the harmful chemicals and imported dead cells they attach to their hair. However, just because a person is attractive and sexually appealing, that does not certify them as a beautiful person. Beauty is an export, not an import. We can not buy it or chemically obtain it. We may notice it in many places, but we only have it within ourselves. It is our intrinsic qualities that define our beauty as it manifested within. When we deliver this manifestation to the world, through our own unique and blk08individual outlets, what society feels from love and self expression is defined as genuine beauty; not just the look of it. Today, as a whole, we look beautiful but we are not. We have been so psychologically conditioned by our elders, peers, and media to focus on placing value on extrinsic qualities and how things appear to be, that we never learn to love, appreciate, and manage ourselves. Instead we learn to love money, appreciate materials, and learn to manage other people. It is though women, not just Black women, that we display the beauty of a nation and/or a people. It is through women where men manifest, meet standards, and serve as men with purpose. Through women you can understand how unified and strong a nation is. At the very same time, through women, a clear illustration of how weak a nation is and how to destroy it. Once we as people begin loving, appreciating, and supporting our women and our authentic image, we as a people will be able to show the world how beautiful we remain; despite the hardships we have faced since the Atlantic Slave Trade, and the pains we cause each other today. To the world, a woman is the illustration of beauty in human form, and only a woman can display the beauty of a nation; the beauty of man. So what strengths and weaknesses do we learn about our Black people by observing our Black women? What do the struggles and strengths of our Black women say about our Black men?

Love is not a feeling. It is an ability. It is the ability to care for our own spiritual growth, and the ability put ourselves aside to care about spiritual growth of others.

blk023When we wear our natural textured hair, we let the world know who we are as a people. Regardless If we are “light-skinned” or “dark-skinned” we are linked by the kinks in our hair. The natural texture of our hair is what identifies Black people physically, despite any Asian, Indian, Native American, Hispanic, or Caucasian genetic ingredients. Our roots are in our hair. It is our home address. When we destroy our roots we consciously or unconsciously hide an entire nation. Due to the residue of some type of post traumatic syndrome, that has been habitually passed down through generations by our elders, we have yet to psychologically break free from years of oppression, slavery, family dysfunction, mis-education, and abuse; mental, physical, and spiritual abuse. We have yet to stop becomingblk024 real-estate; we went from physical property to mental property. Very few us carry the mentality of African kings and queens. While the majority of us still hold on to the mental habits of American slaves and slave masters. However, I place most of the blame on our Black men for the insecurity of our women and social dysfunction of our people. Who else should hand our Black women full servings of genuine love, support, and security? It is our Black men that have broken the confidence, love, and respect our Sisters have for one another and themselves. Times have turned Our hair into My hair; selflessness became selfishness.

Ironically the relaxer was invented by a Black man.

Garret Augustus Morgan Sr.

Morgan was an inventor and entrepreneur. While experimenting with a liquid to give his sewing machine needles a high polish, so the needles wouldn’t scorch the fabric as it sewed. He accidentally, noticed that this liquid not only could straighten fabric, but it could straighten hair as well. So he turned this liquid into a cream and began the G.A. Morgan Hair Refining Company.

The Mechanics of a Relaxer

In order for a Sister to have a permanent perm or if she wants to straighten her natural, beautiful, black curly hair, she would need the help of heat or relaxers. The basic function of relaxers is simple, to destroy and break apart the disulphide bonds that hold our hair proteins together. In order to break down the protein in our hair, we need the assistance of an alkaline agent that is strong enough to loosen and break our disulphide bonds so that we can manipulate and restyle our hair. Hair relaxers are so chemically strong, that if not used carefully, we can permanently damage our hair shafts.

View a Snippet of Chirs Rock’s research documentary on Relaxers “GOOD HAIR.”

Our hair texture is who we are as a people. How we choose to style our hair is who we are as individuals. Let us realize that wearing our hair natural is not wearing a style that only looks good on a few faces. Again, natural hair is not a style, it is our hair texture. Relaxers are styles that are scientifically proven to be dangerous and harmful to our bodies. So why destroy our bodies to achieve the same results that can be achieved with our natural textured hair? In fact, natural Black hair is blk003not only healthier than chemically altered hair, but it is also more flexible in terms of style. You can achieve the same looks as relaxed hair and even additional looks that relaxed hair is too weak to hold. We can continue to make excuses about how much time it takes to to groom our natural hair and nag about how difficult it is to manage, but that is only because we are lazy and/or inexperienced. With time and experience come ease with all things. Repetition is the mother of all skills. If we have time to fornicate, intoxicate, and communicate with people we have no business communicating with, and to do things we have no business doing, then we can make time to groom and ensure that we are presentable in public and private. Perhaps taking care of our natural textured hair will keep us too preoccupied to deal with other people’s drama and help us avoid life’s unwanted obstacles. Doesn’t it cost nearly $100 dollars to get a relaxer every 6 to 8 weeks, on top of the money it cost to get our hair done every 2 weeks. If we went natural, we can use that extra money for gym memberships or even touch up the polish on our toes and fingernails. I’m just throwing out random examples so that we can stop making excuses due to our lust and insecurities. Let’s liberate ourselves and see our true reflections again, perhaps for the first time. Let our partners finally be introduced to us. Let’s finally know who we are calling beautiful and who we are telling that we love. I write this blog only to promote the spiritual, mental, and physical health of my Black people through my Sisters. I would like for us to finally take off these costumes and begin wearing the uniforms we were born with.


Written with Love

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– Cornbread


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